A sneaky way you’re robbing your partner of provider energy

He opens the door to their bedroom, finds her laying in bed and starts to apologize to her for all the ways he hasn’t been seeing her or considering her needs.

She, being the loving and compassionate woman that she is, wants to lighten his load and says things like, “I know you don’t mean it that way, it’s ok, don’t feel so bad.”

She’s now consoling him.

What she doesn’t realize is that she’s robbing both of them in that moment -

Him of the feeling of providership and duty for his woman.

Her of receiving the consideration she has so deeply yearned for from her partner.

AND, because she doesn’t fully allow his apology in, her resentment continues to grow.

Here’s how her and I worked through this together using my signature SELF method -

We got clear on her tendency to focus outwards vs inwards.

We talked about the necessity of polarity and that by allowing him to offer his apology, she is also allowing him the opportunity for him to give to her (which is not the way of their relationship), and for her to receive.

Then we explored - why is it that she looks outside of herself so often?

Overextending herself for others, as she put it. Not surprisingly, it’s related to her childhood.

We anchored into her past as her superpower and that the best way to “heal” her inner child is to guide her to a more empowering way, today.

If you find yourself yearning for more from your partner, hoping, wishing and asking him to SEE you I want to invite you to turn that focus around and become SELF involved.

This is your anxious attachment popping up.

The part of you that scans for safety in her external environment.

Turn her inwards and watch your relationships pour back into, you.

This is the way of the SELF CENTERED woman and the way I guide my clients to inside of my mentorship spaces.