It’s safe to put down the “fight”

She got on the call and shared with me how she’d “sabotaged” her relationship the night before.

Things were going so well until…

Her and her husband were in conversation together. Their son interrupted them. And while she wanted her partner to set a firm boundary and tell their son that he’d have to wait until they were done talking, what he did instead was turn his attention to him, giving fully of himself.

She thought to herself..”he always does this. I’m the tough parent and he’s the nice present one. Why can’t he just set a boundary. Our son NEEDS to learn this life skill of not interrupting.”

In other words…

Why can’t he parent like I do.

Anyone ever been there? Because I sure have.

But through our mentorship conversation today, what she discovered brought her to tears.

Her husband is her exact perfect match, giving their son the whole of what he needs.

While she’s the one teaching her son boundaries (because she happens to be a mama who needs and loves her space), her husband was giving their son the experience of unconditional presence.

Her husband is not parenting like the perfect person, or the perfect mother ;) but he is PROVIDING them both with that they need.

Her, the opportunity for space from her children’s incessant need for attention.

Their son, the opportunity to be shown two ways, boundaries and presence.

Previously, when her husband would say, “I’m just trying to help”, it infuriated her.

She couldn’t see that he actually meant it. Not exactly in the way she would do it, but in the way she deeply needed.

Now she knows, it’s safe to put down the “fight” and to allow, so fully, for her man to provide the way he best knows how.

And tonight, instead of an argument, she’ll share with him her deep appreciation,

For how much he provides for all of them.

And how she gets to be, in ways unbeknownst to her, she who receives.