Attachment And Detachment In Dating & Relationships

There are so many subtleties in dating and relationships that can impact the way you’re showing up, the way you’re being perceived, and the experiences you’re attracting.

And the best way to become attuned to these subtleties is to notice the tendencies in what you say and how you act, and how you feel in your body.

One of the topics that has been coming up in School of Love - The Inner Circle, is detachment.

How can you detach from an outcome, like let’s say meeting a man you’re really interested in and hoping it turns into something deeper when you want it so much?

Let’s start by describing how attachment vs detachment feels in your body:

Detachment feels like surrender, almost like a deep exhale.

Attachment feels like a contraction, taking in a big breath that you don’t release until things go your way.

Here’s an example of both energies at play -

Attachment:

“I’m going to send this message, and how he (“he” being the man of your interest) responds will determine how I feel next." You are, quite literally, attaching to an outcome.

Detachment:

“I’m going to send this message, because it feels like the truest thing I can do and how he responds is completely up to him." You’re sending the message unconditionally to the outcome.

This, by the way, takes so much practice.

It also requires trust in divine timing, trust in the Universe.

The intention with detachment is to say, “I’m going to take my next best step, and let the Universe take care of the rest.”

Which is by the way, how I run my entire business.

Sometimes it’s a moment to lean in with action, and sometimes it’s a moment to lean back and let the Universe take over.

This is also an excellent way to practice being in a relationship.

The balance between doing and receiving; putting yourself out there and allowing; essentially, the balance between the masculine and feminine.

Attachment is conditional. Since it is results-focused, in many ways, it has a very masculine energy attached to it. I’m going to do x with the intention of creating y.

Detachment has a more feminine energy attached to it. It’s rooted in intuition and pure desire. This is what I need to do for myself, and I let go of the rest.

Detachment doesn’t mean we don’t care; it means separating how we feel from the outcome and releasing expectations.

Yes, we can have a desired outcome, and still, we allow it to be what it will be.

Is detaching from the outcome a growth edge for you, especially when it comes to love and relationships?

I invite you to RECEIVE - a 6 week deep dive from over giving to sovereign love

With love,
Diana