Girlfriend Behaviour
You’re the kind woman who loves to offer her help.
You love being there for the man you really like.
You’ve got all this love to share, and you want to share it with someone else.
I know you, because I used to be just like you.
Offering myself, my time, my love, my energy, my focus and attention on a golden platter.
Would you like a side of help with your problems, too? I got you.
And I see women step into my programs every day with the same kind of patterns.
They meet someone they really like, and a few weeks later all the “nice and cute” gestures start popping up:
Checking up on him with a sweet text message in the evening after already having an exchange in the morning
Offering to help him pick out his new furniture
Sneaking in short visits in between his busy schedule
Showing up unannounced in sexy lingerie
Cooking him meals at home instead of spending money going out together
Helping him sort out his family problems aka taking on the role of his therapist
All of this might sound like really great things to you.
It sounds to me…like girlfriend behaviour.
Girlfriend behaviour, when you’re not yet his girlfriend.
And ladies, this is a self-made trap.
He doesn’t expect you to do any of these things. And in fact, the more you do, the less chances there are of things working out the way you hope they will.
Because…
He doesn’t need this from you and doesn’t know how to fully appreciate it.
Which means the more you try, the less he can “see” you.
That leads to resentment and exhaustion on your part.
And once again, you question why men can’t see just how amazing you are.
You are making yourself vulnerable, and not in the good way, to disappointment.
Pace yourself.
Plain and simple, that girlfriend behaviour needs to be saved for the season in your relationship when you feel confident and safe enough to have the conversation about where your relationship is going – and, when you’re actually his girlfriend.
Of course, you can reciprocate. Just make sure you’re not crossing over into girlfriend territory.
If you recognize yourself in this article, you may want to start paying close attention to the sweet little gestures you have the reflex to make at the start of your next romantic encounter and ask yourself –
“Is this girlfriend behaviour?”, before you make your next move.
And, if you really want to break the pattern, get yourself signed up for the next round of RECEIVE. My 6-week program designed to stop the over-giving, overthinking, and over-doing, in its tracks.
Early bird rates applicable until July 16th! Join us here.
With love,
Diana