Your Boundaries Don’t Always Need to be Explicitly Stated

Sometimes, they simply need to be embodied and respected by you.

So, rather than having to tell your new guy that you aren’t available for last-minute dates (as expressed by one of the ladies in my School of Love Inner Circle), you can simply be unavailable for last-minute dates.

Or rather than telling your long-term partner that you’re creating a new boundary around helping him solve all his problems, you could simply catch yourself going into “fixer” mode, and just, not.

I’m not saying expressing your boundaries verbally isn’t useful. You know I’m all about courageous, clear and conscious communication.

It’s just that oftentimes, the conversation isn’t the first step.

Deciding what your boundaries are and respecting them is.

People typically adjust to what they feel you are and aren’t available for.

Of course, there are also times where we need to speak in clear as day terms.

• Like when you observe something that doesn’t sit well with you.

• Or when you don’t want to do something, because it feels out of alignment.

• Or when you want to tell your new partner that you’re only available for sexual monogamy.

When it involves another person and balancing their expectations - words are needed.

• If your new guy doesn’t quite get it, and insists on only asking you out on impromptu dates – words are needed.

• Or if your partner is wondering why you aren’t putting on your fixer hat like you used to – words are needed.

Expressing your boundaries verbally can also be a great way to keep you accountable to them.

What’s most important at the end of the day is that you know your boundaries, and why they’re important to you.

Then, you stick to them and adjust if need be.

I’m curious, what boundary do you need to put in place that may not need to be said, but simply embodied by you?

With love,

Diana