He's On His Journey, Too

Whenever a client comes to me frustrated about the man she’s with, there’s usually some part of her that’s hoping I’m going to tell her it’s all his fault. 

Which I never do. 

Because I know that the change she’s looking for starts with her. 

She has been trying to “lead” him and the relationship for so long, pushing, striving. She wants him to do more, be more. She is essentially projecting her fear of not being enough onto him. 

This is not always an easy pill to swallow -- nonetheless, it’s a life-changing moment. 

The picture starts to get uncomfortably clear - she’s been nagging him, stressing him, and unloading her emotional turmoil onto him. 

She’s been impatient and snaps easily.

She moves around like a drill sergeant, giving orders of what needs to be done around the house.

She’s in execution mode as my husband likes to call it (no one said I was immune to this). 

When my clients come face to face with this, there’s no turning back. They see it clear as day: they need to relax and move into their feminine energy. 

First comes the awareness, then comes practicing new ways of showing up; trial and error, successes and failures. It’s a journey and not an easy one. 

They get frustrated with themselves. They want to be calmer, they want to stop blowing up at their man, they want it all to happen soon. 

And they want him to change, too. 

That’s when I remind them that he’s on his journey, too. 

Just like her, there are things he wants to change, ways he wants to grow, things he knows he should do. 

And that if he can accept her as she is on her journey, that maybe she can accept him, too. 

Instead of battling the whole way through, they can join hands and walk on their journeys -- together. Encouraging each other. Inspiring one another. 

It’s a light bulb moment. A complete shift in perspective, and the ultimate gift for their relationship. 

So the next time you find yourself frustrated with your man, have some compassion and remember that just like you, he too is on an ever-unfolding path. 

With love,

Diana