Instead of Trying to Change Him, She Did This

I’m quite aware of the responsibility I have as a Coach; aware of the trust that someone has to place in me, to do this transformational work together. 

I bring my clients into a place where they allow themselves, even momentarily, to make choices as their most empowered selves.

And I encourage them, sometimes even daily, to continue to make these empowered decisions.

I hold the space and ask the deep questions. I bring them back to their North Star – their intentions and their visions. I mirror what I see from deep within them; their love, worthiness, boldness, strength. 

They are ready to receive. They are ready to go into the deep places, ask themselves layers of questions, and finally claim what is deeply true for them. They take the learnings, integrating and experiencing them as love-changing gifts – they are the true heroines.

Like this gentle warrioress right here, Julie.

Julie is loving, committed, honest, and courageous. Julie is a badass. 

And here’s what she has to say about our experience together and what ensued.

“I decided to work with Diana because I felt I wasn't showing up as the best version of myself in my marriage. To give you some context, I have a wonderful husband who is extremely supportive and respectful of me. We have a loving relationship and have been together for 7 years. That being said, I found myself often nagging him, complaining about random things, and being triggered by something he said or did. 

In most cases, these triggers often had little to do with him and more to do with past wounds that I hadn’t yet healed. I was fed up with being stuck in the cycle of feeling irritated, resentful, and then guilty because I knew I have such a great husband. To add to this, I realized I was prioritizing building my business over spending time with him. While my partner is patient, I knew I couldn't keep putting "us" aside without risking some long-term consequences. I had to change the way I was making choices, but I didn't know how.

I had previously tried scheduling in regular "date nights" and finding a hobby both of us enjoyed so we can spend time together. While these practices worked to a certain degree and felt good in the moment, I still found myself wanting to change his behavior if he didn't act a certain way and getting caught up in what he wasn't doing "right". When Diana asked me what I wanted at the end of our work together, I told her that I wanted to simply ALLOW myself to love my husband just the way he is.

During our time working together, Diana helped me see how my old wounds of not feeling "good enough" were contributing to me focusing on his short-comings. She helped me find a practice that resonated with me to find peace when I wanted to critique. She also helped me find concrete ways I can truly feel more connected to my husband and show up as his partner, instead of his drill-sergeant! She provided me with frameworks I can use whenever I felt triggered, or wanted to go down the road of self-righteousness (which was often!). 

I appreciated her patience and the safe space she held for me to explore my fears and my worries, as well as her practical side that helped me see how I can actually apply this work on a daily basis.

After our one-month intensive, I can say with all honesty that I now feel at peace in my relationship. I've noticed that some "trigger situations" no longer bother me. For the situations that still do, I find that I am able to shift out of my fear-based stories with more ease and lean into love. In those moments, I have enough clarity to choose the version of me who is patient, kind, and calm.

When I do need to communicate to my husband something that has bothered me, I can do it in a more loving and open way. I feel as if it's now a conversation instead of a one-direction rant. I've had two beautiful discussions with my husband since, which I'm certain would not have taken place if I didn't do a one-month intensive with Diana.

Because of the work we did together, I feel as if I am showing up as the wife I want to be.”

And what I have to say, is thank you, Julie, and every amazing woman I get to work with, for being so incredibly willing to do this work. You continue to light my fire.

With love,
Diana