Setting The Precedent From The Start (This Is For My Single Ladies!)

Setting the precedent is so much easier to do when you’re single or newly dating someone.

You get to decide what your standards are and put them into action from the very start.

You get to show someone what is and isn’t in alignment for you.

And, you get to set boundaries and the parameters for being in a relationship with you.

Setting the precedent years into a relationship? Near impossible.

What is possible, is shifting relationship dynamics and patterns (as I’ve seen with the hundreds of women I’ve worked with), which can prove to be more work than the above.

Turns out, there are some benefits to being single.

What do I mean exactly by setting the precedent?

Showing someone that…

>> While you’re available for spontaneous dates from time to time, you’re typically only available for dates that he plans in advance with you.

>> You’d rather spend time getting to know him by going out and having fun experiences, rather than sitting at home watching Netflix on the couch together.

>> You’re comfortable “receiving” in a relationship, by accepting compliments, acts of service, dinners, etc. graciously.

>> You’re more interested in partnership, than doing all the doing in a relationship.

>> The only kind of language you’re available for in a relationship, no matter how heated a conversation, is respectful.

Setting the precedent is making it clear from the get-go, what you are and aren’t available for, and what your empowered standards are.

Like when I was newly dating Jack for example, and he offered to wash the dishes after I made us dinner.

My reflex was to say, “No worries, I’ll do it later.”

But intuitively knowing I would be spending a lot of time with this person, if not years, I made a different choice.

I heard my mother’s voice saying to me, “Set your standards from the start. If there’s something you aren’t willing to do long term with a man, do not do it from the start.”

Possibly the best relationship advice I’ve ever gotten. Thanks, Mom!

This kind of precedent-setting requires you to step into the highest vision of yourself and your desired relationship – and to believe in your worth.

While you can do much of this with very few words required when you’re early enough in an experience with someone, you’ll still be called to communicate courageously from time to time.

And you’re in luck – because doors to my Courageous Communication masterclass are still open until 12pm ET today.

Join us live, or catch the replay for the next 7 days by signing up here.

See you there, Queen.

With love,

Diana