Spotting the Difference Between a Man Who's Taking His Time or Wasting Yours

You, my goddess, have much better ways to be spending your time and energy than wasting it away stressing about, thinking about, and worrying about the new guy in your life.

So I want to help you save some of it.

There are a few ways you can spot the difference between a guy who’s taking his time or wasting yours. 

→ A man who’s taking his time is consistent in his efforts to see you.

→ He shows up on time (mostly).

→ He gives you compliments and asks how your friends and family are doing.

→ He remembers the big events that are taking place in your life.

→ He listens when you tell him how you feel.

→ And even though he may be wrapped up in some of his own fears about commitment and timing, he is willing to talk them out with you and make progress in the deepening of your connection.

On the other hand, a man who’s wasting your time…

→ Will talk to you regularly and then drop off completely.

→ He will be late for your dates or not show up at all.

→ He’s curious about you but doesn’t actually remember much of what you say.

→ He avoids making plans in advance.

→ He avoids all conversations that involve feelings, especially yours.

→ He is committed to being afraid of commitment.

Now let’s be clear: everything is a matter of perspective, and based on how much fear you hold in your mind, you may or may not be perceiving the man in your life accurately.

The other thing is that it takes time to understand why people do and say what they do, so rather than making assumptions, it is a great idea to ask.

For example, when Jack and I were dating I often noticed that he would take hours to respond to my text messages.

When I asked him about this (in a non-accusatory way), he explained that he gets really wrapped up in his work and forgets to look at this phone for hours.

Seven years, a marriage, and a baby later, this is still true.

Had I seen this through the eyes of my fear, and not asked him about it, we may not be where we are today, and that would be a shame.

What I saw instead was a consistent, reliable, inspiring and kind man -  all signs of a good man, who may have some of his own fears, but isn’t about wasting other people’s time.

With love,
Diana

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