Leaning Into Love

Clients who work with me know exactly what I mean when I talk about leaning into love.

They start to sense, feel and notice the opportunities to choose love or fear.

To choose expansion and new ways of being, over familiar patterns of fear.

To choose speaking up over stuffing away.

To choose turning inwards to look at their own inner child’s fear rather than project their fears onto someone else.

To choose words of gratitude over words of criticism.

To choose to notice the good in their partners, over what’s lacking.

To choose to notice the good within themselves, over what they wish they had more of.

We have the opportunity to make these choices every single day. In the big moments, and in the ordinary micro moments.

I am not exempt from these choices.

It’s true that I have an exceptional partner.

It’s also true, that after 8 years together, I catch myself taking him for granted.

I complain.

I worry.

I criticize.

This is not an easy thing for me to admit, but alas, I am not perfect.

My brain is wired for worry.

And while I’ve been re-wiring and unravelling this programming for quite some time, that has meant navigating the choice of love over fear in my relationship, and beyond.

Worry is a fear frequency.

Along with shame, blame, doubt, resentment, frustration, anger, insecurity, etc.

Whenever I catch myself wanting to project it onto Jack, to unload my worry onto him – I remind myself that this would be a fear response, and not conducive to love.

Sure, I can share with him what is worrying me.

Sharing, when he has the time and energy to hold space for me, is an act of vulnerability, the ultimate feminine.

Unloading is an act of fear.

Or when I’ve asked Jack to do something, and I notice it’s not done, I can blame or shame him. Or I can take a deep breath remember all the other things he does do, find a place of calm within myself and either say thank you for the rest, or say nothing at all.

Love over fear.

The choice is everywhere.

I encourage you to spend the next few days noticing how fear creeps its way into your thoughts, words and actions.

And…to lean into love.

With love,

Diana