Why Love Needs Space

When a psychologist in the UK asked me to describe love using three words, appreciation, growth and spaciousness rolled off the tip of my tongue.

She asked me to go a little further.

By now, you’ve heard me talk a lot about appreciation and growth - so I’ll jump ahead to spaciousness, the real surprise de jour!

I explained that relationships need space to breathe.

So often we keep a really tight fist around our relationships - trying to control the outcome, how the person shows up or what the person does and doesn’t do.

We also spend A LOT of time either being together or thinking about each other. And over time, this suffocates the potential for growth.

...because...we need SPACE...to grow!

I know, sometimes I surprise myself with my own genius 😉

Not only is it important to take space from each other, or from thinking about each other, but we also have to offer our partners the space to go through their own shit without trying to understand where they’re at every step of the way.

Which requires trust...confidence...and so much letting go of control.

Inside of this space new ideas blossom, we gain clarity around the issues we’re facing, and we actually get the chance to miss each other.

If you’re inside of a challenge in your relationship and there’s something you’re really wanting your partner to change - give it some space. Drop it for a moment. Allow some space for the two of you to breathe and come back to the conversation at a later date with a different energy.

If you’re feeling disconnected from your partner, the answer is probably not in forcing them to spend more time with you - but rather in taking the time and space to reflect on the way you’ve been showing up and the way you’d like to show up moving forward.

And if your partner is feeling overwhelmed and stressed, rather than trying to fix their problems or insist on a weekend away together, try offering them the space to be alone to just chill.

Yes, time together is important. Communication about your challenges is necessary. AND still, I challenge you to see how creating at least the feeling of spaciousness in your relationship will start to open you up to new possibilities, new growth, and new-found depths of appreciation.

With love,
Diana