Why Should I Have to do All The Work?

The other day I was speaking with a woman in one of my circles. She was talking about her dedication to showing her husband appreciation, and focusing on the good, the way she does with her children.

Her husband is of course with faults and imperfections the way we all are, but when she’s deeply honest with herself, she can admit, she has a willing partner who wants to make things better.

In a matter of days, their whole relationship dynamic has turned around.

More fun.

More communication.

Great s*x.

But why should she have to do all the “work” you ask?

In her words, she finds this to be significantly less work than holding onto anger and resentment.

The mind will resist this, as most minds do.

But just for a moment, tap into the feeling of resentment, and notice what it does to your body.

Now, tap into the feeling of appreciation, and notice the difference.

Which one feels more draining? Which feels more nourishing?

This is of course, not recommended to try in a toxic relationship with someone who puts in zero effort.

But if you can honestly say that you’re in a relationship with someone good, you owe it to yourself, and your couple, to give this a try.

To give you a baseline, The Gottman Institute says you need 3 positive interactions to 1 negative one to keep your relationship in a healthy place.

Now go ahead and do a little inventory.

How many times do you appreciate your partner (or yourself), vs criticize?

And how healthy is that?

In my Keys to Love masterclass, I’m talk about appreciation as a more feminine quality, and what the masculine can do to support this and allow it to flow with significantly more ease.

Appreciation, from both sides is like an elixir for even the most tender of hearts.

Your relationship CAN feel this good.

But first I want to know, are you willing to shed the resentment and the ego and actually make your new baseline feeling good?

With so much love,

Diana