How Much Guilt-Free Alone Time Do You Give Your Partner?
I know you want to believe you’re a cool easy-going partner.
I often tell myself the same thing.
But the truth is, years into a relationship, we often overlook the subtle ways in which we stifle our partner’s independence.
When I stop to examine myself with an honest lens, I can see how I sometimes monopolize my husband’s free time.
“Oh, you’re not working today. Your free time belongs to Cedrik (our son) and I!”
These might not be the words I use, but the sentiment is there.
So when he sits himself in front of the TV, or wants to spend Cedrik’s nap time looking up new music, I’ve learned to 100% let that be, without inserting my agenda.
I know, like the best of them, that the healthiest relationships require interdependence.
But I, too, forget.
A few years, homes and children later, we can start to feel like we own our partner’s free time.
I know you can relate.
Besides the fact that this is just plain unfair, it’s also strangling the passion out of your relationship.
Remember those days when you lived in separate homes and could do your own things and excitedly get together for date nights?
It can still be that way.
I insist that some evenings, even though we are home every night (COVID curfew combined with a three-year-old who’s asleep by 8pm), that we spend time doing our own things.
Sometimes in the same room, sometimes, not.
And then, we can come together more intentionally other nights to spend time together - time we’re actually excited for.
Spaciousness is a key ingredient to thriving relationships, and this includes allowing your partner to have guilt-free time alone.
Are you in for it?
School of Love - The Inner Circle includes a small group for women in relationships ready to rediscover their own fire, and that within their relationship. There are just a couple of spots left. If you’re ready to claim your desires in your relationship, fill out the short questionnaire on this page and let’s see if it’s the perfect fit for you.
With love
Diana