Stop Telling Your Partner How They Should Feel.

Stop telling your partner how they should feel.

And see how your relationship changes.

If there’s one thing we all appreciate, it’s being seen and heard.

It’s the simplest gift we can give another, and yet one that doesn’t feel easy, for most of us.

I ask you to be painfully honest in this moment and ask yourself, how much space do I allow for my partner to feel what he’s feeling without trying to…

Fix.

Problem solve.

Reframe.

Tell him he should feel differently.

Why do I do this?

How do I imagine this makes him feel?

How does this make me feel?

What is it doing to our connection?

Most women I know believe they are great space holders.

They believe that they are a soft place for their partners to land.

But when further examined, their edges are quite sharp.

Their discomfort with their partner’s discomfort becomes evident.

And…

Even more so…

Their judgment of it.

We’ve all done it.

What I want to invite you into, is the feminine paradigm of holding your partner without trying to “do” anything about it.

But rather, to simply be there with him.

Listen, nod, acknowledge, allow.

Giving him the space to be with himself in witness of you, and giving yourself the permission to do less.

Like one of the women in the last round of School of Love’s Inner Circle.

She found herself exhausted every time her husband would come to her at the end of the day talking about his day – she was exhausted because she assumed there was something she needed to do about it.

Until, I invited her into the paradigm of just being with him.

And then this moment turned into an opportunity for her to sit back on her couch, sip her tea, listen and connect.

That’s it. That’s all.

She got to relax, and he felt the safest he ever has with her.

What would it take within you to allow your partner to feel the exact way they are feeling the next time they’re feeling angry/sad/frustrated/stuck, etc.?

Seriously, I’d love to know!

With love,

Diana