The Infamous Spark

The infamous spark… we can’t seem to live with or without it.

The feeling, the desire for it, has kept many of us awake at night.

What is the spark all about it, and how is it potentially sabotaging you from making real connections?

The spark is that feeling of chemistry between two people. The one that gives you butterflies and makes your knees weak.

It feels so good to have it, and so painfully awful when it’s gone.

The thing with the intense spark is that if it starts to make you feel weak, distracted, anxious, and ungrounded, it's not likely to be a healthy experience where you feel grounded and anchored in your worth.

Oftentimes, the spark is a symptom of our nervous systems feeling, well…nervous.

Something about the person may feel elusive or enchanting. And we’ve learned to associate these feelings of excitement (in other words, nervousness) – for love.

The intense spark, while we've been conditioned to believe is the ultimate sign of true love, can often be anything but.

What if you could experience a spark that gets stronger over time, rather than burn out?

In Logan Ury's “How to Not Die Alone”, she references the Mere Exposure Effect study.

The study asks students to rate the attractiveness of their peers on the first day of school and then again on the last; they consistently saw across the board that they rated their classmates higher as they got to know them.

What if it gets to be this way for you, too?

I’m not suggesting you “suffer” through trying to date someone you’re absolutely not attracted to.

I’m suggesting that we shift the idea of the spark all together, and start asking questions like,

> Can I see myself building something with this person?
> Can I see myself growing closer to this person over time?
> Can I see myself appreciating him more as I get to know him?

These 3 questions “sparked” several relationships for the Queens inside of my School of Love programs.

See one of them describe her experience in this video, here.

Are you willing to try this on for yourself?

Early bird bonuses for School of Love's Inner Circle (Spring 2022) are major. Reach out to me and we'll let you know how you can apply.

With love,
Diana