Your Assumptions are Sabotaging Your Love Life
I hear all kinds of assumptions in my client sessions:
---> He was dodgy about setting up a date, he must be married.
---> He hasn’t texted me in two days, he’s obviously not interested.
---> I haven’t heard from him in a week, I’m sure he’s busy with work.
---> He obviously doesn’t love me, or he would do this simple thing that I’ve asked of him.
And the assumptions don’t stop there.
---> You assume if someone didn’t answer an email fast enough that you either said something wrong or they obviously don't respect you.
---> Or that since you’ve never won a contest before, you will obviously not win this time.
---> And that since you've never had a successful relationship, you're cursed by the relationship gods.
Assumptions lead to uninformed decisions, lost dreams, and failed relationships.
And we’ve been making them for a really long time.
We assumed the things our parents said and did were absolute truths. With no ability to consciously reason, we internalized what we observed and sought to prove ourselves right in our understanding.
Which we’ve continued to do throughout our adult lives via a little psychological trap called confirmation bias - where we unconsciously seek to prove our beliefs (be they helpful or not) to be true.
But here’s the good news.
Since our assumptions often highlight our deepest insecurities, there’s actually a lot to learn from them.
Take a look at your assumptions and explore the fears and insecurities that lay behind them.
Now ask yourself, what would happen if you assumed something on the more positive end of the spectrum?
How would your life then start to shift in order to prove this new assumption as true?
Take a conscious look at your assumptions, explore what’s behind them, and see how many of those you can shift to a more empowering perspective.
I mean, you have nothing to lose and so very much to gain.
With love,
Diana