What Do You Love, Appreciate And Admire About Him As A Being?

A few months ago, I hosted a 2-part series in my Facebook group about my full love story from elementary school all the way into my marriage – completely raw & unfiltered.

Among the many stories I shared was this one:

When Jack and I were dating, we had the “where is this going” conversation about 8 months in; and there was a moment I thought I would lose him.

For the first time in my life, the devastation about possibly losing him wasn’t about losing the relationship and what that means about me.

It was about the possibility of no longer knowing this beautiful person -

Someone I learned so much from and had new experiences with.

Someone I deeply admired and appreciated.

In the past, it had always been about what losing that person meant about ME.

…about the whole it would leave in my life.

This time was different.

This time, I wasn’t tied up in my ego and self-worth.

Oftentimes, we think we love someone when what we really love is how being with them and having someone in our lives, makes us feel.

Please, read that again.

I can recall helping a girlfriend gain clarity about her relationship with a similar reflection and question.

She wondered what to do, because she was hesitating to stay in her new relationship.

She’d gotten accustomed to him doting on her, doing things for her, complimenting her; all great things.
When I asked her, “do you love who he is?”

That’s when she realized; her feelings weren’t about him at all.

She loved what being with him did for her life. She was happy to “finally” have someone in her life, someone to support her.

…but ultimately, it wasn’t him that she was into at all.

So, the next time you find yourself holding on to someone who doesn’t quite feel in alignment for you, I ask you to consider –

Do you love who he is? What do you love, appreciate and admire about him as a being?
Chew on that and let me know.

With love,
Diana